Author Archives: filinthegap
Visiting Carole
I was not expecting to see lake Michigan so blue between tall scrapers casting hooded shadows at 5:04 on St. Patrick’s day You, crumpled in despair between wrinkly pallid sheets, fatigued, turning on your side, a chore; talking, all the … Continue reading
The finality of farewells
Home again in the same year. I’m not sure why, really. I tell everyone it’s to be with family. First time spending Christmas without Mom. Truth is I just want to be close to where she used to be. This … Continue reading
On the flight back
The night before I was to go back to Chicago, my brother Dodgie, my niece Zyra and I were stuck in traffic at 12 midnight. I had gone to my friend Ling’s art exhibit opening and hung out with her … Continue reading
Assessment Plan/Rhetorics/poem-in-progress
This is not your hand; This bloated fish in my latex-gloved hand, hematomaed like the drowned corpse I saw when I wrote about night hawks who forage after 12 for decaying remains, blood-debt killings, a small ice pick stuck to … Continue reading
Fill in the Blank
I fill up spaces with plans for things I want to fill up my spaces with. I write it down, make it real, make it take up real space and then break the plans with things I did not plan … Continue reading
Do-it-with-joy
The other day, my husband made me think. He was joking around as usual, but maybe there’s some truth to it. He said he is going to accompany our daughter to her cheerleading event not because it’s an obligation but because he … Continue reading
Are you awake?
Just finished bingeing on Westworld by Michael Crichton. It makes me think about the idea of consciousness as something we develop as we mature. It’s waking up and staying awake, looking at ourselves in the mirror and understanding where we … Continue reading
Denial is not a river in Egypt
Today, November 9, 2016, a quintessential asshole became the president of the United States. I mean, seriously, is there any other word more apropos to describe this man who thinks that kissing women and grabbing their private parts without their … Continue reading
Pain
I’ve been weaning myself off of Hydrocodon, a powerful narcotic that relieves one’s body of pain. The doctor said to take it every four hours after the surgery and “as needed.” You realize its power only after it wears off, and … Continue reading
The Incredible Healing Power of Family, Friends, and Furry BFFs
And so it has come to pass that I have somewhat of a cancer, but it is at its nascent stage. Just enough to indulge my flair for the dramatic, but not enough for me to drop everything and start … Continue reading
